I told my ex everything.
To sorely mix metaphors, the surest way to cut an enemy off at the knees is to outflank him. Today the person who is intent on destroying my work and family life has one less option available to them than they did yesterday. When I outed myself to my ex he took it exactly as I always knew he would – calmly, with little hint of surprise, and a warm confidence that I am still a remarkable mother well able to be trusted with our children. He has known me for longer than anyone except my family and has seen me overcome many hurdles higher than this so this was no more than a minor bump in the road we are still traveling together.
He showed a marked lack of curiosity as to my particular kinks and asked no questions about my extracurricular activities. He wanted clear reassurance that I keep my private life separate from my daughters and once that was given he returned to his usual jovial mood and made a joke of the whole thing. He trusts me, he loves me, and he knows I am fully capable of making exceedingly difficult judgments with grace, compassion, and plenty of thoughtfulness.
Having hidden this from him for the last five years I feel like a weight has been lifted. One more person has been enlightened as to the normalcy of people who call themselves kinky. One more part of my life has fitted itself neatly into its final and proper resting place. My ex is no longer a tool to be used against me in a campaign of hatred and I can breathe just one little smidgen easier. Between Tucker and my ex I have two solidly astute men who will stand by me through anything. Sometimes the most threatening clouds have the brightest silver linings.