Journey Into Submission

a bdsm love journal


“So when am I going to meet your ex?”

“Whenever you want,” I said. I was not at my articulate best. Tucker had caught me off guard while I was driving and thinking about shoes. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye.

“I was thinking, since you want me to stay over with you and the girls in preparation for us all going to the coast together next month, that it would be a good idea for me to meet him. If I was him, I’d want to meet me,” Tucker explained.

“That is a really good idea,” I replied. Tucker’s ability to see all angles of a situation and understand how everyone might be affected continues to surprise me. Not to mention his willingness to become a real and significant part of my life, and his commitment to doing precisely what is best for me and my children. “We can do it this weekend coming up, when he drops the girls off. I’d like to give him some advance notice, just so he isn’t surprised. I’m pretty sure his girlfriend stayed over at his house with the girls long before I ever met her.”

“But that’s different,” Tucker said.

“Yes. I agree. It is different. Especially with little girls,” I said quietly.

Fast forward two hours. Tucker and I were browsing through Target when I spotted two girls playing with the big bouncy balls.

“Do you see that?” I asked Tucker, reaching for his arm.

“What? They’re big bouncy balls,” he said, paying more attention to where he was going than where I was pointing.

“Those are my daughters with those big bouncy balls,” I insisted. At that moment I spotted my ex and Tucker realized who the girls were.

“Hey!” My ex saw me and then quickly looked at Tucker. I started fumbling with an introduction.

“Hi, I’m Tucker.” Tucker turned to my ex and stuck out his hand. My ex shook it and introduced himself. The girls turned, surprised to have run into us, and I gave them each a hug.

This spontaneous meeting, just hours after Tucker brought up the topic and pointed out the very good reasons for it needing to happen, is just one more way in which I believe the universe is trying to tell me that Tucker needs to be in my life. If he and I and my girls and my ex were all put in the same place at the same time in the midst of this entire city on a cool Spring weekend afternoon then surely there is a reason to which I may not be privy but about which I will feel free to speculate.

I do not believe that the four most important people in my life randomly ended up in the wide aisle of a department store based on nothing more than chance. I have said it, repeatedly as of late it seems, and I will say it again: Tucker is meant to be in my life and I am nothing less than completely thankful that he is.






  1. Gray Lily, yes, it does seem that the Universe is gently guiding you. :D
    Love and warm hugs,

  2. 7charmed11


    Hi I am so thrilled to read about how well you are doing!! I admire Tucker in his thoughtfulness towards you, your girls, and your ex. Out of curiousness though I am wondering when will we hear of your meeting his parents or has that yet to happen?


  3. Gray Lily

    charmed – It hasn’t happened yet. It’s scheduled for the end of this month so I still have time to get used to the idea. Although he did mention off-handedly that his mother asked why he hasn’t brought me by yet…

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